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give, as I judge the boss. He'll probably sink her in some lake with a nice

block of concrete on his feet when he's done with her. He doesn't understand

fun with his family. The speaker laughed shrilly. ? Hey lady, you couldn't have

chosen a less suitable victim for your scissor games, you know that ??

Sam tried not to show any emotion on the outside, but the grinding of her

cheekbones revealed to the attentive viewer that she was nervously pressing her

jaws together. What had the guy said? He doesn't understand fun with his

family? She leaned her head far back against the headrest of her seat and

looked at the dirty white ceiling of the car's interior trim with a desperate

look. It is quite possible that the perverse pig was related to a police

officer. No, what did the driver say? The boss understands no fun with his

family. Shit, she'd probably killed the chief's favorite uncle. Her future

prospects were not particularly bright. The prospect of the court hearing not

taking place also worried Sam very much. Desperately, she hid her face in her

hands and took a deep breath. The handcuffs clinked softly. She still smelled

his blood and urine on her skin. She looked at her hands in disgust. Maybe she

had a chance to talk herself into being insane. In many crime novels she had

seen, the accused had gotten away with it. But that would have seemed like a

betrayal of Jessica and her agonizing death and she pushed this thought aside.

She eyed the policeman on her right. The man was pretty young, barely older

than 23-year-old Sam. He kept giving her furtive looks. As soon as Sam made eye

contact with him, he looked out of the window and looked at the accompanying

night city. Sam tried to remember where the headquarters of the Policia

Wasn't it

outside the city?Probably

no longer than 15 minutes. How depressing, a car ride where nobody spoke to her

and thought they were all monsters. To top it all off, a choleric police chief

awaited her, whose kinship had tormented her to death. Whether you

"Christmas is not canceled" The mother takes it hardest. "My mom, she didn't

pack it. She saw herself marching behind my coffin, ”says R. The mother would

have loved to have canceled Christmas. For Angelika R. this is out of the

question: "Christmas is not canceled."

The gift giving to the parents, with their two brothers and their attachments,

takes place six days after the first round of chemistry. Eight adults, four

children, the decorated tree, sausages with cabbage - everything is as always

and yet nothing is as it was. "We all started crying when we were singing

'Silent Night'," says R.

Buying wigs with sparkling wine The young woman decides not to let cancer get

her down. When her hair

fell out in tufts on New Year's Eve , she stood on the mat with two friends at

the wig shop on January 2nd. "We made fun of it and tried crazy models so that

it would be easier."

Afterwards they behead a bottle of sparkling wine. Then the friend, who is a

hairdresser, trims her hair, which is doomed anyway. The light blonde bob

hairstyle remains 1.5 centimeters. "It was such a nice day," says R. "And the

short hair looked great!"

The new look lasts for a week. Then the hair falls under the shower. "How they

pebbled over me when they dried, that was really bad." All of a sudden, bald

patches of bare scalp. The

morning after, she reaches for the razor.

Interactive NetDoktor

Self-test Can I see any signs of depression?

The bald mom The bald head becomes part of everyday life, the wig remains in

the closet. "I couldn't make friends with that." Although she resembles her old

hairstyle and looks good, she remains a foreign body. Instead, R. wraps towels

around his head, "I felt comfortable with them." Only the little daughter

She orders when the mother runs

around topless.

As little as she hides her bald head, so little does R. make her cancer a

secret: “I always talked about it openly. How I am and what's coming up. That

helped - me and the others. ”Even her son, who can understand that his mom is

very sick. That she is often not well and therefore has to go to the hospital.

That he tidy up his room himself, but doesn't always have to be good.

Between everyday life and therapy For the next few months, R. commutes between

everyday family life and therapies. A daily challenge with two small children.

She tries to be as normal as possible: accompany the son to ice hockey training

as often as possible. Help with homework. Walks in the forest. And the almost

two-year-old daughter helps with packing suitcases for the clinic.

Angelika R. is lucky in misfortune: chemotherapy tolerates her better than

many, nausea and weakness can be endured. She has parents and parents-in-law

who support her, a man who has her back when she's feeling bad.

Although he is struggling with his own fears: his father's first wife died of

cancer - as young as his angelica today. Will the same thing happen to him?

Will he soon be alone with the children? "He was a rock in the surf," says

Angelika R. "Only when we were alone did he show that it was difficult for


"Why me?" Of course, there are also the dark moments when she thinks: "Why do I

have to get this cancer? Cancer is

mostly one thing above all: a bad luck. Every day cells degenerate in the body,

every day the immune system manages to remove the defective cells before they

start to proliferate. A tumor can only develop if one of the body police

escapes. "You reached into the shit, deeply," the doctor tells her.

Certain genes,

for example, are known to increase the risk of colon cancer drastically in some

cases. But obesity , unhealthy nutrition and a lack of exercise also prepare

And, of course, age is a factor: cell damage adds up, at the

None of this,

however, applies to Angelika R. "Quarreling with fate doesn't help me," she


Interactive NetDoktor

Just don't let yourself down! Instead, she tries to get positive energies out

of everything as best she can. In outpatient chemotherapy, she often

experiences the opposite. Many fellow sufferers, she says, were absorbed in her

illness. "Even people my age! I found that terrifying. They always came in so

sneaky. ”An appearance that literally calls:“ I'm sick! You all have to feel

sorry for me! ”That's how she felt, says R.

If she has a low herself, her husband will get her going. "Go for a walk, you

weren't at the door today."