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give, as I judge the boss. He'll probably sink her in some lake with a nice
block of concrete on his feet when he's done with her. He doesn't understand
fun with his family. The speaker laughed shrilly. ? Hey lady, you couldn't have
chosen a less suitable victim for your scissor games, you know that ??
Sam tried not to show any emotion on the outside, but the grinding of her
cheekbones revealed to the attentive viewer that she was nervously pressing her
jaws together. What had the guy said? He doesn't understand fun with his
family? She leaned her head far back against the headrest of her seat and
looked at the dirty white ceiling of the car's interior trim with a desperate
look. It is quite possible that the perverse pig was related to a police
officer. No, what did the driver say? The boss understands no fun with his
family. Shit, she'd probably killed the chief's favorite uncle. Her future
prospects were not particularly bright. The prospect of the court hearing not
taking place also worried Sam very much. Desperately, she hid her face in her
hands and took a deep breath. The handcuffs clinked softly. She still smelled
his blood and urine on her skin. She looked at her hands in disgust. Maybe she
had a chance to talk herself into being insane. In many crime novels she had
seen, the accused had gotten away with it. But that would have seemed like a
betrayal of Jessica and her agonizing death and she pushed this thought aside.
She eyed the policeman on her right. The man was pretty young, barely older
than 23-year-old Sam. He kept giving her furtive looks. As soon as Sam made eye
contact with him, he looked out of the window and looked at the accompanying
night city. Sam tried to remember where the headquarters of the Policia
outside the city?Probably
no longer than 15 minutes. How depressing, a car ride where nobody spoke to her
and thought they were all monsters. To top it all off, a choleric police chief
awaited her, whose kinship had tormented her to death. Whether you
"Christmas is not canceled" The mother takes it hardest. "My mom, she didn't
pack it. She saw herself marching behind my coffin, ”says R. The mother would
have loved to have canceled Christmas. For Angelika R. this is out of the
question: "Christmas is not canceled."
The gift giving to the parents, with their two brothers and their attachments,
takes place six days after the first round of chemistry. Eight adults, four
children, the decorated tree, sausages with cabbage - everything is as always
and yet nothing is as it was. "We all started crying when we were singing
'Silent Night'," says R.
Buying wigs with sparkling wine The young woman decides not to let cancer get
her down. When her hair
fell out in tufts on New Year's Eve , she stood on the mat with two friends at
the wig shop on January 2nd. "We made fun of it and tried crazy models so that
it would be easier."
Afterwards they behead a bottle of sparkling wine. Then the friend, who is a
hairdresser, trims her hair, which is doomed anyway. The light blonde bob
hairstyle remains 1.5 centimeters. "It was such a nice day," says R. "And the
short hair looked great!"
The new look lasts for a week. Then the hair falls under the shower. "How they
pebbled over me when they dried, that was really bad." All of a sudden, bald
patches of bare scalp. The
morning after, she reaches for the razor.
Self-test Can I see any signs of depression?
The bald mom The bald head becomes part of everyday life, the wig remains in
the closet. "I couldn't make friends with that." Although she resembles her old
hairstyle and looks good, she remains a foreign body. Instead, R. wraps towels
around his head, "I felt comfortable with them." Only the little daughter
She orders when the mother runs
As little as she hides her bald head, so little does R. make her cancer a
secret: “I always talked about it openly. How I am and what's coming up. That
helped - me and the others. ”Even her son, who can understand that his mom is
very sick. That she is often not well and therefore has to go to the hospital.
That he tidy up his room himself, but doesn't always have to be good.
Between everyday life and therapy For the next few months, R. commutes between
everyday family life and therapies. A daily challenge with two small children.
She tries to be as normal as possible: accompany the son to ice hockey training
as often as possible. Help with homework. Walks in the forest. And the almost
two-year-old daughter helps with packing suitcases for the clinic.
Angelika R. is lucky in misfortune: chemotherapy tolerates her better than
many, nausea and weakness can be endured. She has parents and parents-in-law
who support her, a man who has her back when she's feeling bad.
Although he is struggling with his own fears: his father's first wife died of
cancer - as young as his angelica today. Will the same thing happen to him?
Will he soon be alone with the children? "He was a rock in the surf," says
Angelika R. "Only when we were alone did he show that it was difficult for
"Why me?" Of course, there are also the dark moments when she thinks: "Why do I
have to get this cancer? Cancer is
mostly one thing above all: a bad luck. Every day cells degenerate in the body,
every day the immune system manages to remove the defective cells before they
start to proliferate. A tumor can only develop if one of the body police
escapes. "You reached into the shit, deeply," the doctor tells her.
for example, are known to increase the risk of colon cancer drastically in some
cases. But obesity , unhealthy nutrition and a lack of exercise also prepare
And, of course, age is a factor: cell damage adds up, at the
None of this,
however, applies to Angelika R. "Quarreling with fate doesn't help me," she
Just don't let yourself down! Instead, she tries to get positive energies out
of everything as best she can. In outpatient chemotherapy, she often
experiences the opposite. Many fellow sufferers, she says, were absorbed in her
illness. "Even people my age! I found that terrifying. They always came in so
sneaky. ”An appearance that literally calls:“ I'm sick! You all have to feel
sorry for me! ”That's how she felt, says R.
If she has a low herself, her husband will get her going. "Go for a walk, you
weren't at the door today."